Showing posts with label Tributes. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Tributes. Show all posts

Monday, June 29, 2009

Thoughts on a Lost Boy

Over the past few days, I have been trying to determine why a celebrity's death would throw me for such a loop. It's not like I ever met this celebrity or even attended one of his concerts.





Yes, I am talking about the biggest news story right now: the death of superstar Michael Jackson, also known as The Gloved One, Wacko Jacko, MJ, The King of Pop, and even Peter Pan.


Did I cry out when I first heard the news because Michael Jackson was born in my home state?


Am I mourning because I had a major crush on Michael Jackson as an adolescent and used to sneak into my brother's room to open up his ALBUM to this picture?



Am I sad because the music and dance world lost an icon and an inspiration?

I think I am sad for all of these reasons . . . but there is so much more to my melancholic mood over the past few days.

Whatever your thoughts on Michael Jackson, you cannot deny his talent and the effect he had on the world. I have personally always viewed him, not as Peter Pan, but as a lost boy. I think he had fame thrust upon him at a young age; too young an age to have even partial responsibility of "bringing home the bacon" for a large family. I truly believe that the only time Michael was happy was when he was making music and/or dancing. You can see it on his face, even as a child. But I cannot even begin to imagine the type of pressure he was under.

He was a young, black entertainer born into a family of musicians trying to make it. And he tasted success at the very beginning of a country's journey to a change it was not quite ready to make. Somewhere along the way, Michael Joseph Jackson got lost, and I think he stayed there, in Neverland, as a perpetual child . . . a lost boy.

While listening to some memorials to Michael on MTV, a long-standing friend said he once asked Michael about his oft-debated relationships with children and Michael said something like, "The children are the only ones who tell me the truth." For someone who stayed in a childlike world, the harshness of the real world had to have been difficult. I am not saying this in any way excuses him from some of the crazy things he did (nor will I claim I know what crazy things he DID do), but it makes me see things in a different light. How many times have we wished we could go back to our childhood when things were simpler? Well, Michael did it. Things were never simple for him, but he tried.

Even with all of these things, I still could not determine why the cloud of sadness was lingering over me. So I started remembering . . .

When Thriller came out, I was 7 years old. It was 1982. In 1982, Time magazine named its first non-human Man of the Year, the computer. A black man and and a white man recorded a song about "living in perfect harmony". Ronald Reagan was president, and even though we were in the midst of a recession, he would not back down in his belief that our country would come out okay on the other side. And we did.

Although there were some scary things going on at the time, I remember being full of hope for the world that I lived in. I believed in hope for a better day. Hope and Change were not words that people used to get elected, they were words that they used because they wholeheartedly believed that there was hope for change, for the better.

Ronald Reagan said, "Each generation goes further than the generation preceding it because it stands on the shoulders of that generation. You will have opportunities beyond anything we've ever known." Ronald Reagan was right . . . but are we holding up our end of the bargain?

My two favorite MJ songs have always been "We are the World" (co-written by Michael Jackson and Lionel Richie) and "Man in the Mirror." (Videos provided in an earlier post.) When I hear these songs, I remember that feeling of hope; that feeling that our country really is good and that none of us have lived up to our potential . . . but we still could.

I think I am sad because people have given up. People have started using words like hope and change to sell records, to win elections, to get people to jump on board a sinking ship. They use these words and then blame someone else when things do not go the way they planned.

But the death of Michael Jackson has made me realize one very important thing:

"We can't go on pretending day by day, that someone, somewhere will soon make a change."

We cannot wait for someone else to make things better for us. We have to be a part of change, be a part of hope, and we have to take personal responsibility for ourselves and our actions.

"I've been a victim of a selfish kind of love. It's time that I realize that there are some with no home, not a nickel to loan. Could it be really me, pretending that they're not alone? A willow deeply scarred, somebody's broken heart and a washed-out dream, they follow the pattern of the wind, ya see, cause they got no place to be . . . that's why I'm starting with ME."

I am sad, because I feel like I have lost a symbol of hope from my childhood.

But my hope is renewed because I believe that there are others who believe as I do: that Good will triumph and that we CAN and WILL make a difference . . .

"If you wanna make the world a better place, take a look at yourself and make a change."

Thursday, June 4, 2009

Thankful Thursday: Birthday Edition!

Today, I am thankful for my brother who was born THIRTY-EIGHT years ago.
This post is for him . . .

I am thankful for all the wonderful memories we have of our childhood,
especially the times we spent with Grandma and Grandpa.

I am thankful that you forced me to play school when I was 2, so I could read by 3
and helped me learn to love reading so much that I now use it as a procrastination tactic. (hmmm . . .)

I'm thankful that we still remember all the "silly ditties" we learned
or made up when we were kids.
(Especially our very clever answering machine messages that we sang in harmony.)

I miss singing with you . . .

I'm thankful that we survived our sibling rivalries when I was your bratty kid sister,
and learned to love and support each other even more
after you ABANDONED me and went away to college.

I am especially thankful for the way you love your nieces and nephews.
They are crazy about Uncle Bobby.

I know we don't always agree, but I know that because of what we have been through together that we will always get through whatever comes our way.

I love you.

P.S. - YOU'RE OLD!!!!

Monday, August 4, 2008

7 Years of Blessings

My darling Hunkahubby . . . .


Can you believe it has been 7 years? At this time 7 years ago, I was probably just finished getting my hair done in preparation for walking down the aisle into your arms. I can remember waiting until 11:00 for pictures and being so anxious to see you in your tux. And that first moment . . . when you saw me in my dress and I saw you - we both cried. Although we had only known each other for a few months - we KNEW. We knew that God meant for us to be together. Isn't it amazing?


One of my favorite memories of our wedding is while Katie sang "If you could see what I see" - you prayed for us.

It all went so fast. And the next thing I knew - I was your wife. YOUR WIFE. And you kissed me for the first time as a Mrs.


The wedding reception didn't go by fast enough . . . although I was happy to see all the friends and family who came to share in our joy - once I was your wife, I just wanted to be with YOU!



And I still do!!


I love you more than I ever thought it was possible to love another person. You are my friend, my lover, the coolest Daddy to our 3 beautiful children, and the person I want by my side until I take my final breath.

Thank you.

Thank you for choosing me. For being you. For everything.

Here's to another 7 years, my darling love.

Happy Anniversary!!!

Sunday, July 6, 2008

I wish you were here . . .

It has been three years. I can't believe it. I really can't.

And even though it has gotten a little easier - it still hurts knowing I can't just call you and get your advice. I would love to hear you say, "Don't worry your pretty little head about it," or "It will be better in the morning," or just have you hug me because that would always make everything feel a little bit better.

When I have issues with my kids, and I feel like I have no clue what I'm doing as a parent - I long for a way to talk to you and ask your advice. But instead, I try to think back and figure out from your example to me - what you would've done. You taught me so much. I don't know if you ever realized how much.

Even now, I can't imagine how you did all that you did. So many children came through your doors and you blessed each and every one of them in some way or another. That one summer when you were watching 5 12-year-old boys, along with lots of other kids - how did you not go crazy? How did you keep your sanity? My kids are still several years away from those teen years . . . but I get scared now just thinking about it! (and I only have 3!!)

The thing is - I really do know how you did it. You knew what was most important. You knew what was worth getting worked up about and what wasn't. And you praised God no matter what the circumstance. You were able to sing in every situation. Even hours before you took your final earthly breath, when your body must have been in so much pain - and you were facing leaving all of your loved ones behind, you were able to put everything aside and do your best to sing along with us as we gathered around your bed and sang all of those old familiar hymns. What a legacy. I just hope I can live up to that.

So even though I miss you and it hurts more than usual on this day - I will sing. I will praise God. And I won't forget everything you taught me.

Until we meet again, Grandma.


April 19, 1926 - July 6, 2005

Sunday, May 11, 2008

My UN-wicked Stepmother


A lot of people today are posting blogs about their relationships with their mothers - and I decided it was time to post about the unsung hero of a stepmother.

Granted, I was in college when my parents got divorced. I was in my twenties when Dad married my SuperStepMom. Getting a StepMom wasn't as traumatic as it might have been if I were younger. But I don't think I could have been anymore blessed than what I am.

Let me tell you a little bit about SuperStepMom. Her first husband died when her three boys were quite young. She fearlessly raised those boys on her own - never thinking about herself the entire time. Those boys were her world - and they knew it then and they especially know it now. You can tell from the respect they show her, what a great job she did with each of them. Only when her youngest son was close to graduating from high school, did she even consider taking time for herself and falling in love again.

My Dad was so lucky that she chose to love him. :-) And I am lucky as well. My Daddy deserved to be loved - and my SuperStepMom deserved someone to love her. It was (and is) a perfect fit!

One of my favorite stories was after she and Dad started dating: we went to the store and she wanted to buy me an outfit. She had never had a "girl" to buy clothes for . . . but me, in my "tomboy" stage, went right for the men's flannel shirts. ::sighs:: Sorry SuperStepMom - I'll take some girly clothes now!!

My SuperStepMom has always been there to talk to and give me advice - or kick me in the butt when I was feeling sorry for myself for no reason. They allowed me to crash on their couch during the college years, brought me groceries during the 'financially unstable' years, and loved me even when I was a major pain in the butt. I would not have made it where I am today without the support of Dad and SuperStepMom.

When I got married, my husband also felt very accepted into the family - much in part to SuperStepMom and her support of us.

When we decided to adopt - SuperGRANDMA emerged and my children think she is the GREATEST. She is becoming the Grandma to them that my Grandma was to me. This Christmas, she even made homemade chicken and dumplings WITH the kids. That was so touching to me, and brought back so many great memories. I am so thankful that my kids will have someone like SuperGRANDMA to do these things with.So today - on Mother's Day, I am saying thank you to one of the Greatest Women in the World. You raised three boys, you then married one of the orneriest men on the planet (and do a great job of keeping up with his humor) and you willingly took on his family as well. And although many StepMoms don't get portrayed in the best of manners - I have nothing but accolades for my SuperStepMom.

So thanks. Thanks for taking a chance on love. On Dad. On all of us.

We Love You!!

Wednesday, February 13, 2008

Happy Birthday Drama Llama!!


Today is my niece Jamie's birthday. My little (okay, not so little) Jamie is not necessarily having the best birthday as she is diabetic and she is expecting a little one soon (as you can most likely tell from the picture) - so she is in the hospital on her birthday. Not necessarily a fun way to spend your birthday - so I thought I would cheer her up by making her 'famous' on my blog. :-)

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU
HAPPY BIRTHDAY DEAR JAMIE
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU!!!!

Since you're having to watch your sugar intake . . . I thought I'd give you a virtual cake!






(Image from http://www.bonnboni.com/)



I just want to say that I am so proud of you Jamie. You have not had an easy life - but I see you finally becoming a woman who is sure of herself and wants to do great things. You and Sam are going to be awesome parents! I am so thankful that I get to be your aunt. You are fun, and talented, and beautiful - and don't you forget it!! :-)


And now . . . in honor of your birthday . . . Christopher Collamabus would like to recite a Llama Limerick for you.

There once was a beautiful llama
Who was friends with a lovely Mama
But they came to blows
Over eating potatoes
Then decided it was just too much drama . . .

Okay - that one was bad -- my limerick brain hasn't been used much lately.

Anyway Jamie - Happy Birthday! I hope you enjoyed your very own blog post. :-)

Thursday, January 10, 2008

Sweet Kisses and the infamous Refrigerator Kiss


No, it isn't my anniversary or my husband's birthday or anything - but today I want to dedicate my blog to my wonderful husband and his sweet kisses.

The last few days I haven't been a very happy camper - and yet he has stayed with me through it all. Sure, we argue and fuss a little (okay, sometimes a LOT) but at the end of the day, we know we love each other.

When Hunkahubby and I got together almost seven years ago - it was very dramatic. (You have no idea how dramatic . . . )

I still remember the first time he kissed me. We call it the 'refrigerator' kiss. And no - we didn't kiss the refrigerator, although sometimes I want to - especially when I'm dieting and I can't get into it!!

The kitchen was dark and he was looking in his refrigerator to get something out. All of a sudden he whipped around, pulled me in his arms and KISSED me . . . thoroughly. I stopped breathing, my toes curled, and the world as I knew it ceased to exist.



The wonderful thing is - I still feel those things when he kisses me, all this time later. It isn't even one iota less exciting. He still makes my toes curl.



So today, cherish the ones you love and grab your special someone and give them sweet kisses.

If you don't have that special someone . . . don't push it . . . sometimes love finds you in the most unexpected places . . . maybe even in the refrigerator.

I love you honey. I love your sweet kisses. And I'm thankful to a God who allows us to have a love like ours.

Monday, January 7, 2008

Karma



In my earlier post about our five furry 'children', I mentioned a cat that is no longer with us. She was such a good kitty and she had a few funny stories. Her name was Karma.

When Hunkahubby and I got married, he already had Britney, but I decided that Britney needed a buddy and that I needed a kitty to call my own. We went to the local no-kill animal shelter in search of a calico kitten. As fate would have it, there were no calicos that day - but we kept looking anyway.

When we got to a certain cage, there were two kittens inside and this one interesting-looking cat kept pushing up against the cage door wanting us to get her out. We asked the shelter worker to open the cage, and as soon as she did, this cat jumped onto my shoulder - purring so loud I could hardly hear anything else. She then looked over to Hunkahubby, jumped to his shoulder and then jumped back to mine.

Well - that was easy - we knew she was the one meant for us. She was named Karma and the name seemed to fit - so we didn't change it. After the 3 day waiting period, we were able to bring her home.

Karma was a tortoise-shell or 'torti'. We found out that shelters have a hard time adopting out these cats, because a lot of people think they are ugly. I thought she was beautiful. She was very loving and attentive - which often is NOT the case with cats.

We brought Karma home to meet Britney and Britney was NOT happy. But we figured she'd get over it eventually.

One of the things Karma did that we always laughed at was crawl up under the covers on the bed and sleep. This almost became a fatal choice for her! We came home a few days after bringing her home and couldn't find Karma anywhere. We lived in a VERY small 2-room apartment and we knew she couldn't have gotten far.

I looked at Britney and said, "What did you do with Karma?" A few minutes later, Britney got up off the bed where she was laying. Underneath where Britney had been sleeping was a lump - Karma had crawled up under the covers to sleep and Britney had decided to lay on top of her!!! I don't know if it was intentional or what - but we've always laughed about Britney trying to off Karma by smothering her.

Eventually - Karma and Britney learned to get along and were quite content to be in each other's company, especially when more kitties were introduced into the household. They learned to stick together.



Unfortunately - pets don't live forever, and sometimes they have to go before it is their time. Karma got trapped in the laundry room one day and and something heavy fell on top of her - I got home in time to pet her and she looked up at me and meowed several times. We then rushed her to the vet, but I'm sure she was gone before we got there. It was very tragic. This was the first death of a pet that the kids had to experience - but I think my husband and I were worse than the kids were.

Karma was a neat cat. She liked to sleep on our pillow at night and "knead doughballs." She made chirping noises and always talked to us. She knew that the other cats didn't like her as much, and she didn't care - she seemed happy with who she was.

I truly believe that pets are here to teach us things - so here is what I learned from Karma:

1. Be yourself - don't worry about what others think.
2. Even if you look different, you are still beautiful.
3. If you find someone to love you, hold on to them tight and love them with everything that is in you - because we never know what may happen tomorrow.

I'm sure I will have other Karma stories to post - but for tonight, I just want to remember what a great cat she was and think about her curled up under a big heavenly blanket dreaming great kitty dreams.

Tuesday, October 2, 2007

My friend Ruth



I know that Ruth is going to kill me for this - but I had to take a moment and post about my friend Ruth. :-)

When my family first moved to our present location in November of 2005, we felt pretty lonely as we didn't really have any support system and we didn't know who to ask about where to go to the doctor, the vet, church, any of those things. It was hard, not having anyone to lean on. The first year was rough, but I learned a lot during that first year.

We started attending a local church in January of 2006 and slowly got connected to a few people there. However, it wasn't until we finally took the leap of joining a small group that God really blessed us with wonderful friends.

It is a funny story. I was unable to go to the meeting that our church has once a month, to try and connect people to small groups - but I sent Hunkahubby. He went and sat down at a table with other people with young children such as ours. He came back home telling me he signed us up for a group and that the people all seemed nice. He was excited, and I was terrified. Most people don't understand the part of me that gets a little phobic in social settings. People who have known me for a long time or have worked with me see me as really outgoing and social . . . but I would usually rather curl up and read a book or listen to music than be out 'socializing' with people.

The night of our first meeting, I tried to think of every excuse I could for why I couldn't go. Robert finally was like, "fine, I dont' care, don't go . . ." which he knew would kick me in the butt enough to make me go. I whined all the way there . . . "I'm not going to know anyone, what if they don't like us?" Well - God took care of that too.

When we got to the house (very close to ours), we went up to the door and rang the doorbell. A nice, but a little unsure (like me) lady opened the door and greeted us. I looked behind her and . . . there stood someone I had known since the 8th grade!! I could not believe it. Ruth's husband grew up in the same area I did and we had a lot of the same friends. He went to church around the corner from where I grew up going to church and our grandparents lived within a few miles of each other on the same road. How's that for finding a way to break the ice??

Our group went through our first study together and although we all got along well, it wasn't until we took the summer off that we realized how much we missed everyone. Our first meeting for the fall went really well and we were all really happy to see each other again - we seemed to connect even better this time than we did the last time. Maybe we all felt like it was time to loosen up. ;-)

Ruth's son and my son are about a year apart and they both LOOOVE Spiderman and Superheroes and just being boys . . . so we have had sleepovers and playdates and we enjoy every minute of it. Best of all - I have found a very good friend who I know I can rely and depend upon and she knows she can do the same with me. She loves having my kids over to play and I love having hers. It is a joy!

We went garage saleing last weekend, and as we were driving, we started saying the same things at the same time and quoting songs and movies . . . I KNEW that God had meant for her to be my friend - because I could be myself around her. I am SO THANKFUL.

So the picture at the top of the page is when our other friend Jennifer (from small group) came over and did our hair on the same morning. And just because I want to make Ruth laugh . . .

Here is a picture of Ruth in her pretty hair covering . . .



Don't kill me Ruth!!! I just wanted to use my blog to let you know that I'm so blessed that you are my friend and I'm sure we'll have many more exciting adventures together.

I just thought it was very interesting that when I looked up the name Ruth . . . I found out that her name means Friend and Compassion.

Your parents named you well.

Thursday, September 20, 2007

10 years ago


Image from fum.org.


I wanted to do this yesterday, but didn't get a chance. Rich Mullins died 10 years ago yesterday, I can't believe its been that long. His music always touched me and I loved the way that he was so REAL, that you couldn't help but connect with him. I grew up in the same community as Rich and his family and it hit everyone pretty hard when he died. However, his family and friends are doing a great job of keeping his legacy alive. (see links below)

I wanted to remember him by posting the lyrics to one of my favorite songs and then sharing one of his tidbits of wisdom.

The Maker of Noses
by Rich Mullins

"I believe there is a place
Where people live in perfect peace
Where there is food on every plate
Where work is rewarded and rest is sweet
Where the color of your skin
Won't get you in or keep you out
Where justice reigns and truth finally wins
Its hard fought war against fear and doubt

And everyone I know wants to go there too
But when I ask them how to do it they seem so confused
Do I turn to the left?
Do I turn to the right?
When I turn to the world they gave me this advice

They said boy you just follow your heart
But my heart just led me into my chest
They said follow your nose
But the direction changed every time I went and turned my head
And they said boy you just follow your dreams
But my dreams were only misty notions
But the Father of hearts and the Maker of noses
And the Giver of dreams He's the one I have chosen
And I will follow Him

I believe there'll come a time
Lord I pray it's not too far off
There'll be no poverty or crime
There'll be no greed and we will learn how to love
And children will be safe in their homes
And there'll be no violence out on the streets
The old will not be left alone
And the strong will learn how to care for the weak

And everyone I know hopes it comes real soon
But when I ask 'em where I'd find it they seem so confused
Do I find it in the day?
Do I find it in the night?
When I finally ask the world they give me this advice

Well they said boy you just follow your heart
But my heart just led me into my chest
They said follow your nose
But the direction changed every time I went and turned my head
And they said boy you just follow your dreams
But my dreams were only misty notions
But the Father of hearts and the Maker of noses
And the Giver of dreams He's the one I have chosen

And oh I hear the voice of a million dreams
Then I wake in the world that I'm partly made of
And the world that is partly my homemaking
And oh I hear the song of a heart set free
That will not be kept down
By the fury and sound
Of a world that is wasting away but keeps saying (keeps on saying)

Saying boy you just follow your heart
But my heart just led me into my chest
They said follow your nose
The direction changed every time I go and turn my head
They said boy you just follow your dreams
But my dreams were only misty notions
But the Father of hearts and the Maker of noses
And the Giver of dreams He's the one I have chosen
And I will follow Him
(Just follow your dreams)
(You just follow your dreams)"



Rich's Wisdom:

"I had a prof one time... He said, 'Class, you will forget almost everything I will teach you in here, so please remember this: that God spoke to Balaam through his ass, and He has been speaking through asses ever since. So, if God should choose to speak through you, you need not think too highly of yourself. And, if on meeting someone, right away you recognize what they are, listen to them anyway'."

Calling out Your Name

Rich Mullins Memorial Page

Kid Brothers of St. Frank

The Legacy

Never Picture Perfect

We miss you Rich - but I know we are glad that you are finally Home.

Friday, September 14, 2007

San Antonio - and my wonderful friends



I have been in San Antonio, Texas since Wednesday on a business trip. It has actually been pretty relaxing, because I didn't have to plan it. This was a learning excursion for me.

Last week, my husband started a new job - as a visual merchandiser. He is finally getting paid for doing something he loves - and I am so proud of him. The only crazy part was learning how to handle both of us being out of the home more often. It has been quite a change.

Luckily - God has blessed us with some amazing friends. While I was gone, our daycare provider had a family member die suddenly and we had to figure out what we were going to do for childcare. We had 2 awesome friends who stepped up to the plate and offered to watch our children for us. So I just want to take a moment to say thank you to Jodi and Ruth for being there for us. We are all in a church small group together - and we all hit it off from the very beginning. Our friendship is one of the ways that I see God at work, and I am so thankful.

Yesterday morning - as I was standing outside looking at the sunrise, I was hit with how very much God loves us, because he is in the small things, and in the big things. Although we don't deserve this kind of love, he gives it freely anyway.

Isn't that awesome?

Saturday, August 4, 2007

6 years . . .

Hunkahubby and I have been married 6 years today. I can't believe the time has gone so fast. We have been through so much in the past six years and I know, without a doubt, that we would not have made it this far if our marriage was not built on the strong foundation of our faith.

There have been times where I'm sure that both of us wanted to give up, but we didn't, because we had pledged our lives to each other in front of our family, friends and God . . . and we found a Way to make it through the hard times, together.

I'm so blessed to have found someone who loves God above all else and strives to be a good husband and good Daddy - and lets me be who I am. When I was younger - I was known for dating 'the underdog' or 'the bad boy' or just the ones who people could not understand. The thing was - in every one of those relationships, I changed myself to try and make them like me more. I was never myself. With Hunkahubby - I was myself from the very beginning - and that is how I knew it was right.

Following are the lyrics to the song that my cousin Katie sang at our wedding and it still holds true today.



If you could see what I see . . . by Geoff Moore

all of my life
I have dreamed
that someday love would find me
now I can't believe you're standing here

If beauty is all
in the eye
of the beholder then I
wish you could see
the love for you that lives in me

And you would know you have my heart
If you could see what I see
that a treasure's what you are
if you could see what I see
Created to be
the only one for me
If you could see what I see

I know there are days
when you feel
so much less than ideal
wondering what I see in you

It's all of the light
and the grace
your belief in me drives me to say
that I promise you
a faithful love, forever true

And you would know you have my heart
If you could see what I see
that a treasure's what you are
if you could see what I see
Created to be
the only one for me

if you could see...
then you'd understand
why I fall down on my knees
and I pray my love
will be worthy of
the One who gave His life
so our love could be

if you could see
what I see

Created to be
The only one for me
If you could see
What I see

if beauty is all
in the eye
of the beholder then I
am beholding...
true beauty


I love you Hunkahubby - thanks for the past 6 years, I'm looking forward to the next 6!

"Grow old along with me!
The best is yet to be,
The last of life, for which the first was made:
Our times are in His hand
Who saith "A whole I planned,
Youth shows but half; trust God: see all, nor be afraid!"

-Robert Browning

Saturday, July 14, 2007

Happy Birthday Hunkahubby!

Today is my wonderful husband's 45th birthday. I thought I would take the time to tell you a little bit about him. My husband is not like most other men. Sometimes, I wonder how I got so lucky. Hunkahubby is a stay-at-home Daddy. He cooks, cleans, and works in the yard. He has made our house very beautiful and is constantly working to make the yard and the house more homey for all of us. He is an interior designer, he loves animals, and he LOOOOOVES Christmas. He is passionate and kind, funny and ornery, and one of the biggest blessings God has ever given me. I am so thankful for my wonderful husband.


He and I had a whirlwind romance. We met during a theatre production and fell in love before we had time to think about it. We met in March and were married in August. When we first met, he didn't really want to have children. He didn't have many fond memories of his own childhood, and I think he was afraid. However, after spending time with my family and my best friend's little girl - it was clear to me that this man was meant for fatherhood.

Two years after we got married, we started talking about having children and went through the process of becoming foster parents and adopted 3 beautiful children. I have never seen someone who loves his children as much as Hunkahubby loves these kids. He makes sure that they mind, and he teaches them "life responsibilities" (a nice way of saying CHORES) - but they think he hung the moon. I don't know that he even realizes how much these kids want him to be proud of them. They love their Daddy so, so much. And he LOVES being with them and spending time with them. He thinks of really creative ways to get them involved in things, to divert them from having 'kid fits', and just to let them have fun. Sometimes, he just amazes me.

Just recently - he has been teaching the kids to swim. They trust him so much that now he is able to throw our oldest in the deep end and she can swim to the top and over to the ladder. I was amazed. (I can't even do that!!!)

So today - I just want to thank God for my husband. He lets me be me. We can be silly together. We can be sad together. We can sing together. We can pray together. We have been through so much, and we have only grown stronger because of it . . . because we know Who to lean on . . . together.

So here is a poem I wrote for his birthday, to honor him, and to let him know how much he is loved.


There was a time
When I never thought
I would find someone who
Would understand me
For who I am

Love me
When I wasn’t sure who I was
Or who I wanted to be

And help me find a way
To become whoever
I wanted to be.

Then I met you . . .

I met you and my world changed
I felt beautiful

I felt like I could do anything
As long as you were right beside me

I felt blessed
Because I had your love

And I knew
That God had ordained you
To be my husband.

Isn’t it amazing
That Forty-Five years ago
God created you
To be the person you are
Knowing that thirteen years later
He would create me
To Love Only You.

I am so thankful
That you were born

That we made it through
Those lonely years
Scarred but not broken
Hurt but not unlovable
Hoping for something good
Something better
Something RIGHT

That we met
As if by chance
(yet we know better)

I thank God each day
For you, my husband
And I am especially thankful
Today
Your birthday
That you were created
For me to love.





I LOVE YOU!!!! Happy Birthday!!!

Sunday, July 8, 2007

Daddy

Today I took my Dad and SuperStepMOM out to dinner. I was overdue for Mothers Day/Fathers Day. I sent cards for the actual days, but we had not had time to actually get together. So because he's on my mind, I'm going to write about my Daddy. Yes, I'm 31 years old and I still call him Daddy. I probably always will. If you've got a problem with it . . . well THPPPPP. :-)

I love my Dad. I have always been Daddy's little girl. We always just 'got' each other. When I was young, my Dad was very into Amateur Radio - so I learned Morse Code and studied and got my Amateur Radio License when I was 11 years old. He made sure that I knew how to do things like change a tire and drive a stick shift. He taught me how to laugh at myself and not let people push me around. I learned a lot from my Dad.

This 4th of July, we were sitting in the driveway with the kids watching fireworks all over the neighborhood. I remembered sitting on my front porch growing up and watching Dad shoot off fireworks. He always made everything fun. I remembered sitting in the garage watching thunderstorms and not being afraid, because he was there. I remembered when he used to drive into the middle of town and then have me tell him how to get home. (I never did get very good at that . . . we would drive around for an hour and he would finally have to tell me the right directions . . .) I remember knowing that he loved me and being secure in that.

I have to say, my Dad is not perfect. He made mistakes, as all parents do (I've already made my share of them!). However, there is one thing he has almost always done -- if he screwed up, he apologized. If he hurt my feelings, he tried to make it right. And he has always been honest with me. Dad and I used to have "debates" all the time. We would get on a topic where we didn't agree and we would discuss it and yell and scream and disagree, and at the end of the discussion, we were still friends. We didn't always end up agreeing - but we respected each other. I think that is important. In any relationship, you don't have to agree, but it is important that you respect the other person's opinion and be willing to listen to what they have to say. Without even knowing it, he was teaching me very important life lessons by being himself.

As I've grown up, I have realized how much Dad let me make my own mistakes and learn from them. He learned to let go of me little by little so I could start learning things on my own. I knew he was always there if I needed him, but he pushed me out of the nest so I could learn to fly. Now that I'm married and have a family of my own, he doesn't tell me how to live my life. Every now and then, he gives me little tidbits of advice, but he stays out of my 'business' unless I ask him for his opinion. Even though he says, "Why are you asking? You'll do what you want anyway." He doesn't know how much I appreciate what he thinks and what he has to say, even though I try to tell him.

Several years ago, I made a video for my Dad, as a way to express how much he meant to me. I took pictures and music he loved to tell the story of his life . . . and then I sang a song for him at the end. I'm going to put the words to that song here (I am unsure of the writer's name) as a tribute to my Daddy who I've learned so much from.

"I would ride on your shoulders
And look out on the world
Pretending I was big and tall like you
When you were there to hold me
I never was afraid
You made me feel there's nothing I can't do

If I'd spread my wings to fly
When I was very small
I knew that you'd be standing by
To catch me if I fall

You're my hero
Chasing the monsters from my room
Going on trips around the moon
The one who's always been there faithfully
You're my hero
And 'cause you're my Dad...
I'm twice as blessed and lucky to be me

As I kept on growing
We often disagreed
But you let me find myself in my own way
And it's funny, how just lately
I've come to recognize
How wise you are becoming every day

There's so much you've given me
I hope I've made you proud
You're everything a Dad should be
And it's time to tell you now

You're my hero
You didn't have to say a word
Your love was the message that I heard
Inspiring me to be all I can be
You're my hero
And 'cause you're my Dad...
I'm twice as blessed and lucky to be me"

Thanks Dad.

Friday, July 6, 2007

I can't believe it has been two years . . .


July 6, 2005 . . . the day my beloved Grandma went home to meet her Savior.

It was a day she strove for, her entire life. I never really realized it until that last week. We were all together, and my youngest cousin was having a hard time with letting her go. She knew that Grandma would soon be in a better place, but she felt bad because it seemed weird that we were all there together, just waiting for her to die. At that moment, it occurred to me how ready Grandma was to go Home and how long she had waited for that day.

Grandma's favorite songs all dealt with going Home and meeting Jesus. Some of her favorites are below . . .

"I’ve got a mansion just over the hilltop
In that bright land where we'll never grow old
And some day yonder we will never more wander
But walk on streets that are purest gold"


I am sure she is enjoying her mansion now. :-)

"You may ask me how I know my Lord is real
You may doubt the things I say and doubt the way I feel
But I know he's real today he'll always be
I can feel his hand in mine and that's enough for me

I will never walk alone he holds my hand
He will guide each step I take
And if I fall I know he'll understand
Till the day he tells me why he loves me so
I can feel his hand in mine
That's all I need to know"


This was so true of her -- she knew Jesus was with her and that she would someday go Home to meet him -- that's all she really needed to know.

"My heart can sing when I pause to remember
A heartache here is but a stepping stone
Along a path that's winding always upward
This troubled world is not my final home.

But until then my heart will go on singing
Until then with joy I'll carry on
Until the day my eyes behold my Saviour
Until the day God calls me home.

The things of earth will dim and lose their value
If we recall they're borrowed for a while
And things of earth that cause this heart to tremble
Remember there will only bring a smile.

But until then my heart will go on singing
Until then with joy I'll carry on
Until the day my eyes behold my Saviour
Until the day God calls me home..."


This one is my favorite. I can remember her and my Auntie Linda standing at the kitchen sink singing this song. I always loved the harmonies of the song, but I never really thought about the words until that day we were standing around waiting for her Home-going. It was then that I thought about this song and how much it fit my Grandma.

No matter what happened in her life, she was always singing. I think that singing is what got her through the rough times. She definitely had a melody in her heart that made the love of her Savior shine through. She knew that this world was not her final home and she clung to that with all of her might. But she was still stubborn . . . the day we really thought she was going to leave us - the whole family was there, standing around her bed and singing. After a while - she started mouthing the words along with us. She was NOT going to miss her final concert.

Oh how I miss her . . .

After she died, I found a strength I didn't know I had. For the first time in my life, I wasn't really afraid of dying. Because I knew that when I died, I would get to see her again. Heaven wasn't really real to me until I knew that she was there.

I felt like she had willed some of her strength to me when she left this world -- and it was a good thing, because these last two years were not easy . . . but I got through them.

Lately - I've felt myself falling back into the old pattern of fear I used to live in. When I realized it, I wanted to kick myself for losing that strength I had found. A part of me felt sad, because it was almost as if Grandma had left me . . . but maybe she is just telling me that I'm capable of doing it on my own now. Well - not on my own . . .

I'm sure that I will write many more things that I learned from my Grandma. But for now - I'm just going to remember how much she loved . . . and how she taught us to love . . . and let myself be homesick . . .

"You're in a better place, I've heard a thousand times
And at least a thousand times I've rejoiced for you
But the reason why I'm broken, the reason why I cry
Is how long must I wait to be with you

I close my eyes and I see your face
If home's where my heart is then I'm out of place
Lord, won't you give me strength to make it through somehow
I've never been more homesick than now

Help me Lord cause I don't understand your ways
The reason why I wonder if I'll ever know
But, even if you showed me, the hurt would be the same
Cause I'm still here so far away from home

I close my eyes and I see your face
If home's where my heart is then I'm out of place
Lord, won't you give me strength to make it through somehow
I've never been more homesick than now

In Christ, there are no goodbye
And in Christ, there is no end
So I'll hold onto Jesus with all that I have
To see you again
To see you again

And I close my eyes and I see your face
If home's where my heart is then I'm out of place
Lord, won't you give me strength to make it through somehow
Won't you give me strength to make it through somehow
Won't you give me strength to make it through somehow

I've never been more homesick than now"




I miss you Grandma . . . save a place for me, okay?