Wednesday, January 9, 2008

Learning to trust . . .

("Crowning Glory" photo by IzzyBeth, Costa Rica)

Have you ever had one of those days where you feel like nothing is going right? You feel like no matter how hard you try - you still don't measure up? And then the smallest things start to bother you?

Today has been one of those days for me. I'm stressed about some unknown situations in my life and I am worried about what is going to happen next. I hate that feeling.

And after having my own mini-meltdown - sitting on the floor crying asking God "What am I doing wrong? I've been reading my Bible every day, trying to be a good wife and mother . . . and jumping into those roles more than I ever have . . . what am I doing wrong?"

Well - just as I thought that - this popped into my head . . .

"You're not trusting Me."

Wow. Ouch. And all that stuff.

And I wasn't. I wasn't trusting God. If I am doing all I can do to be the best person I can be, then I have to learn to trust God to take care of me. That is hard. I've always had an emotional caretaker type role. And then when you work in an administrative assistant role - you become somewhat of a caretaker for everyone you work for. At the end of the day - you don't have enough emotional energy to do what needs to be done to take care of yourself and sometimes even your family.

So I've just added a new resolution to my list.

Learn to trust.

Proverbs 3:5-6 (NIV) says, "Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight."

Matthew 6:27-34 (The Message) says:

"Has anyone by fussing in front of the mirror ever gotten taller by so much as an inch? All this time and money wasted on fashion—do you think it makes that much difference? Instead of looking at the fashions, walk out into the fields and look at the wildflowers. They never primp or shop, but have you ever seen color and design quite like it? The ten best-dressed men and women in the country look shabby alongside them.

If God gives such attention to the appearance of wildflowers—most of which are never even seen—don't you think he'll attend to you, take pride in you, do his best for you? What I'm trying to do here is to get you to relax, to not be so preoccupied with getting, so you can respond to God's giving. People who don't know God and the way he works fuss over these things, but you know both God and how he works. Steep your life in God-reality, God-initiative, God-provisions. Don't worry about missing out. You'll find all your everyday human concerns will be met.

Give your entire attention to what God is doing right now, and don't get worked up about what may or may not happen tomorrow. God will help you deal with whatever hard things come up when the time comes."

I'm trying . . .

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